Have you ever been afraid to get out of bed and start your day?

Yesterday ended with a bang. And not a celebratory bang. One thing that happened is so family personal that I won't even write about it. If I don't write about it, it really IS extremely personal. And it wasn't fun...let's hope it was a first and last for something.

A second thing that happened is my son backed up some suspicions I've had about something else. Not that I needed anyone else to back it up...I know what I know even if I'm told that I'm being paranoid. But he kinda gave me some missing pieces to a puzzle. It's nothing to be happy about...I'd rather I was paranoid.

The third thing is just a sad annoyance for my son. He was doing as he should yesterday and mowing the lawn. His gf stopped by and he was almost done. He handed her is MP3 player to take in the house. SHe didn't...she put it on the back of his car and was waiting in the garage...watching him. After he was done and changed, my daughter and her friend (the gf's half-sister), the gf, and TJ all got in his car. He was being chauffeur. And by now, you have probably guessed it...the MP3 player was never retrieved...and he didn't realize it until after dark...I didn't find it anywhere. He was SO ticked last night! His day ended horribly and that was just the icing on it all.

And I am going to look at the 'flower box house'. That is what I'm dubbing it. Troy will not be going...he had already made arrangements to play golf, of course.

I have already made arrangements to recoat my kitchen floor. Doesn't THAT sound like fun? I really shouldn't be so wild. I might give myself a heart attack!

The sun is shining and it is going to be a beautiful looking day. I must make sure to spend some time out in it. Have a good day all!

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Plans got changed...no tour of the flower box house today. Our realtor ran into some glitches with another sale...and she has been apologizing to ME like crazy. I told her it really isn't a big deal! The open house is Sunday...we'll look at it then! Poor woman!

AND, I am doing something for myself tomorrow...I'm taking myself to the movies. The "Sex in the City" Movie came out today and I am going to go watch it! I wanna see Carrie and Mr. Big get married. I know...I need a life. But I want to smile over someone else's life for a while.

This day has been unreal. Nothing MAJOR...just emotional up and down like a kiddie roller coaster.

It started out I was feeling depressed and uptight all at once over the problems with finding a house AND a job at the same time. Plus...I need to find something else to do that involves other ppl. My husband is gone a lot for his job and my kids have gotten so they are busy with their friends and here I am. I can only stand just so much of myself. They (whoever 'they' are) say to be careful what you wish for. I wanted quiet and calm. I wasn't specific enuff. I wanted partly quiet and calm mixed in with partly chaos and hilarity. I am getting the 'quiet and calm' dumped on me in dump truck loads. The only thing I can do is relax and enjoy it while I can. I am sure...when I least expect it, someone will mix up a big vat of 'chaos'.

Last fall there was a house for sale on the next block...same road as we live on now, only on the other side of the street. It is neat and pretty with lovely flower boxes and fenced in back yard. The couple that live there are older particular ppl. He has silver hair and drives one of those big fancy over priced vehicles and so does she. He wears pressed bermuda shorts with his pressed golf shirt. She is always dressed like she is ready to go to 'the club'. I admired the house but they took it off the market when they disappeared to Florida for the winter. I have noticed them scurrying around the last few weeks raking and weeding and cleaning up the yard and painting the flower boxes. I told my daughter that I'll bet they were going to put the house on the market again. Well, this afternoon the sign went back up in the yard and my realtor sent me the listing. It is a price we would pay without having to talk them down. Tanya is going to take me to see it tomorrow...Troy too if he gets home in time. I am not holding my breath...there has to be something wrong. But it will be nice to look at. It may not have the 5 bedrooms like the other house but it has 4 like we have here. 2 1/2 baths like we have here. We'll see.

My son mowed the lawn. My daughter WALKED home from school. She brought Felicia...Briney's half sister. Britney is TJ's gf. Britney showed up. TJ finished the lawn, showered and they all piled into his car...and it was quiet...again.

I watered the flowers and pulled the vines...did more laundry. Do I not have an exciting life? I tell you..when you read my blog, you get more drama than you can handle. Watch your blood pressure!

Sunshine and the back porch swing help.

June (PrayerWithHope) reminded me of something...take a moment and look at my surroundings. Really see things and contemplate how blessed I am.

My husband said it best...he is tired of looking at houses, he is tired of talking about it. Maybe we should just table it for another year. It is just too much. I can keep up with my job search and we can enjoy our summer. If something pops up in the meantime it does.

I can enjoy my flowers and the animals. My poor body can't take much more anxiety/stress put on it...it makes me feel so very old. AND everytime I go through long periods of stress, I gain weight. Some ppl tend to lose weight but I am a lucky one...I gain it. If I gain anymore I can join the circus as a sideshow attraction. And the weight gain gets me depressed...which is never good.

I think I will join Weight Watchers. At least I will meet other women that I can join for walks. God is holding it all back until just the right time and I need to do something until the right time comes along.

Such a beautiful day!

Okay...I just took a whirlwind visit around the blog and decided that I am looking at everything all wrong. I am so worried about finding a house to buy...my own home...that I am missing the big picture.

According to Taylor's site (Love and Light from Healing Creek) the world as we know it is going to end in 2012 anyway. So, what do I care? I mean...4 years? I can stay in this rental for that amount of time. So the landlord is crazy. Who isn't? I have had some dealings...I'm tellin' ya! Just stock up on valium, hand them out like candy and keep on doin' as I'm doin'.

Instead of using that money to buy a house, let's just take us a really nice vacation. Works for me. When I go to Heaven (or wherever) I can talk about how certain parts of the earth USED to look before that whole fiery demise thing happened to it.

Life is just...life. A home is what you make it...wherever you make it. Heck with it. I was talking to the realtor this morning anyway and she really didn't make me feel better about any of it. She was feeling like her hands are tied, too, I guess. Buyers that want to buy and sellers that see dollar signs above and beyond.

Never mind me...I'm just in one of my 'why should I bother' kind of moods today. And the sun is shining and everything. I need to go mow the lawn and water the flowers and climb out of the pit here.

Hope y'all like the new background. At least there is sun!

Well, folks...I can quit packing...for now.

We always manage to get these sellers with no clue. We could have come close to their asking price...but the house isn't worth what they are asking. However, their realtor is ripping his hair out cuz, as he says, "They think they can get what the appraisal said it was worth and they aren't taking into consideration the down turn in the market." They countered slightly lower than their asking price. We countered slightly higher than our first offer. Our realtor told their realtor that if his clients softened on their position let us know AND if we haven't found something else, we MIGHT consider bargaining with them. *sigh*

Between the job market and the housing market...God sure is working on my lessons in patience. There is no such thing as being hasty and moving fast without a plan. You only get to do life once...make a plan and stock up on patience. I'm learning. My husband is the one that is getting impatient. Perhaps this is more of a lesson for him than it is for me.

I put my resume in on a few more jobs today. Ones that will use my experience in the education field and my experience working at the law office. I heard back from ONE of them. They let me know they are 'sorting through resumes' right now. That doesn't sound good, now does it?

Tick tick tick tick...time marches on. And I REALLY liked that house. *sigh 2*

I watched a movie tonight that was a definite 12 tissue movie. Everytime I quit crying (which they started you doing almost at the very beginning) then the movie did something to start the water works again. I hate crying. This movie had one of my fave guys in it: Harry Connick Jr. "P.S. I Love You". What this guy did for his wife...oh wow. To be loved with that intensity...

Tomorrow I have a date...with the vacuum cleaner and the mop. I have some frustrations to work out. Nothing like some good cleaning to help get your mind on other things. At least it works for me. Nite all!

What Your Feet Say About You:

You are pretty average in your expressiveness. You can express yourself well, but you don't always want to. You are a very passionate person. You are highly charged and easily inspired. You are an assertive and aggressive person. You are determined and not likely to ever give up. You take a while to fall in love, but once you do, you stay pretty attached to your partner. You are not afraid of anything. You are brave and courageous, even when most people would be terrified. You are very practical and down to earth. You're more concerned with action than thoughts. You are a fairly hard worker, but you are also a little spoiled. You like indulge yourself every now and then. You are not easily influenced by other people. You hold your ground and are true to your beliefs.