Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."

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A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex." She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

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As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

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Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

To All Those Whom it May Concern:

See these?










LIMIT!!! and I do NOT see 'EXCEPT (insert your name doofus)' on the bottom!!!!

I realize gasoline is quite expensive now but NO! YOU CANNOT SHARE MINE!

I go the speed LIMIT...if this is not satisfactory for you, then take it up with the State Trooper! I like paying lower insurance premiums and not having to throw more money into the coffers of the local state patrol.

It is not MY FAULT that you are late for work or YOUR appt. Flipping me off is not advised.

I figured out one thing real early this morning...

If you are awake and can't sleep becuz the sound of the high winds outside is bothering you, it is NOT a good idea to watch a story on the discovery channel about an F5 tornado that wiped out Xenia, Ohio.

Thursday night, Ohio State plays. LOTS of critics have them falling out by the time the 32 get whittled down to the 4. We'll see.

Last night the Cavs proved that their team does not rest on the shoulders of Lebron. This is a GOOD thing!

Tonight the Cavs had an easy game.                                                                                  Cavs   118                                                                                                                            Grizzlies 96 

Oh, and here is a good one:                                                                                                     Suns  129                                                                                                                                Mavs 127      IN DOUBLE OT!

The Cavs BIG test is coming on Mar. 21 when they play the Mavs.

The Tribe seemed to have an easy night also.                                                                          Tribe      8                                                                                                                                   BlueJays 1

It is not easy living in Reds/Bengals country. I put out my Chief Wahoo and the paperboy uses it for pitching practice. If I walk into the local grocery store wearing my Browns shirts, I get dirty looks. I don't know why. It isn't like the Browns have posed a threat to any team in years. I'd think they would be more inclined to give me grief over my Tribe gear. (I wonder what kind of look I'd get if I walk into the stores around here with one of my Colts shirts on?)  I hope to spend some time in NE Ohio this summer...at the Tribe stadium...soaking up some baseball. My father loves baseball but I think he gets a bigger kick out of watching me jump up and down in my seat and yell. I don't do it watching the games on TV. But when I am there in person...I am NOT quiet.