I got up early this morning and headed up to the college. Turned in some work, collected some more, took a test. When I got home I had to make out the city tax papers while waiting for my son to get ready for his therapy appt. I took him to that, delivered my sizable check to the city income tax collector and now I have to finish some work and return to the college.

I would complain about having to make the tax payment. And I would grouse about taking a test and doing more work. BUT, I am alive and able to do it.

Some ppl at Virginia Tech are not so lucky after being shot by a gunman this morning. Some ppl in Texas are not so luck after a tornado struck. Some ppl on the East Coast are not so lucky becuz of flooding. And the ones that are still alive after all that still have a lot more to deal with than I do.

My day is easy in comparison.

And I will leave with this advice to Richard Gere...before going to another country and participating in anything, learn something about their culture and MAYBE you should leave your hands and lips to yourself.

I couldn't keep up with the blogstream last night. I couldn't keep up period. I just haven't had it in me lately. I am sure it will return with time and sunshine. Okay, I'm not sure...I just hope.

Here are a few more lessons I have learned...

Once in a while, even when you can't catch your opinions and words before they leave you, for whatever reason, you can't apologize them away. You can't reason them away. Some ppl don't want reasons, they won't take apologies. All they know is what their situation is and they don't want to care/deal with your situation. If they do not forgive you or cannot drop it then all you can do is shrug, know that you have to learn to keep yourself better in check...and YOU have to let it go.

There are ppl out there that are only happy if they can hurt someone else. Don't take it so personally. THis is a very difficult lesson. The best thing to do it think...this person doesn't know me and that was uncalled for OR look at what they have said to you and examine it for some truth that you don't like to admit. Either way, it is not worth responding it if they have hurt your feelings with either WHAT they said OR HOW they said it. You have to know who you are. If you know who you are, then anything they say about you should not be such a big deal. I know that sounds weird to say that you have to know YOU...but it is amazing the number of ppl that aren't sure who they are!

That is the first piece of advice I gave to my kids before entering the mean world of middle school/Jr. High. Make up your mind what you stand for/what you will or will not do. Know who you are. If you can grasp all that, it will make it so much easier. Then there is no such thing as peer pressure. You cannot be bothered when someone spreads rumors about you that are untrue. This is a lesson that, even as adults, we have to revisit and remind ourselves of on a regular basis.

Have a great week everyone! May the sunshine find us all!

A lesson is not really learned unless we remember it. This post is my way of remembering my lessons. It is not about anyone else. It is about my life.

I believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to tell ppl things. It is called learning how to communicate. You can either tell them, "you know what is wrong with you?" and they will be immediately on the defensive and never hear what you have to say OR you can say things like, "I am hurt by/bothered by this....that you do/say..." or "You may get mad at me for this but I am not telling you this to make you mad...it is an observation...and I am really trying to be a friend..." When ppl approach me in either way, I will listen. I still may not be thrilled with what they tell me but I will at least take it into consideration and try to do something about it. Some ppl see that as coddling. I think it is only fair. No one likes to be told there is something wrong with them. After all, sometimes what one person perceives as something wrong with you, may not bother anyone else.

Another lesson---if someone turns on you angrily, and it seems out of character or unwarranted, you may want to react back in an angry way. It is best to shut up. After all, it may not really have anything to do with how they feel about you or anything you have said or done. Sometimes you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, we all have times when we are feeling overwhelmed by life...not physically feeling well...other things are causing undo stress...try not to take an uncharacteristic 'attack' or angry words personally. Just walk away...let things cool/settle. I know that sometimes I am looking for what else is going on in this person's life that may be the real problem and they are projecting their emotions onto me instead...a physical foe that they can actually fight against. I get it. I may not always know what it is that is REALLY wrong...just knowing there is something else helps me to take it. How do I know about this? I've done it. It is not fair, it is not pretty, it is not right. But it happens.

Still another lesson--it is okay to get angry with the world and feel like there just MIGHT be something all wrong with you when your life is just NOT going as you had hoped/planned/worked for. Don't apologize for your anger. We all need to rail/vent. Others should understand...it isn't like we haven't all gone through things. And it is then that others should let you know that they have been there, done that...and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have other lessons that I need to write about so that I remember...but I have the outside world calling...and I need to go deal with it right now.

Have a good weekend everyone!

My mother's surgery went well...at least that is what she told me. She is in quite a bit of pain and has a big black eye. They 'think' they got it all.

After two days of pain pills I am feeling pretty 'out of it' today...more so than normal. I really hate those things. They knock me out and make everything around me look like a dream sequence in a movie...all blurry around the edges.

I went to the chiropractor and he did a lot of cracking and twisting (and I almost kicked him once! ) and I got my electro shock therapy (well...that's what I call it). I'm still stiff...Heatherscot on the rocks. Lots and lots of ice....aaaaahhhhh.

Have been waiting for the landlord to send the foundation fixer guy. He had an appt. set up but when he found out that the daddy was going to be out of town the next 3 weeks and it was going to be me that he and the foudation guy would be talking to he told Troy, "No offense I am sure she can cook real good but she can't understand the mechanics of all involved."

This is the guy that I had to tell him that his sump pump was pumping the water outside and it was leaking right back in...this is the guy that I had to tell he had the wrong carpet pad down for a basement floor...he laughed...until the inspector told him the same thing...this is the guy that I had to finally threaten him with another inspection and possible lawsuit if he didn't get the foundation leaks fixed (health hazard you know!)...I cleaned up his last mess. That's okay...I will be here anyway whenever that foundation fixer guy gets here. And he will STILL have to put up with me. I will make sure to have my dictionary handy...along with some architecture and engineering books to carry around. Becuz you know...I couldn't possibly understand the mechanics of how to fix a leaky basement.

I woke up yesterday with a stiff neck. Haven't had that problem in a very long time. I figured it would work its way out. Went to the grocery store, made my way through the day...never mind that now it had worked its way to the right side of my neck and now I was getting a migraine, earache, stiff shoulder. I took some migraine meds and went on.

I felt the muscles in my back tightening and my anxiety level rising again as my mind began turning and working its way through things. My mother telling me to take a walk or find something/someplace else to do/go to where my mind could be off on something unrelated.

Then as I got in the van to take my son to his driver's ed it hit. I couldn't move my right arm...I couldn't move without screaming in pain. I NEVER let out a scream like that in my life! The tears began to roll down my face. Such incredible undescribable pain! My son said he needed to call someone but didn't know who. I sat very still and told him there was no one TO call. I didn't need him to call anyone anyway. Just to give me some time. Poor thing he ran in the house to get some ice, cuz it was the only thing he knew to do...just as he and my daughter came running back out into the garage I tried to move again...and again I let out a blood curdling scream. I couldn't help it! More tears. My daughter crawled into the seat beside me and began to cry. I tried to calm her. I said as calmly as possible that I didn't want her to be scared...mommy was going to be fine...it just was really hurting right now. I finally was able to hold my breath, grit my teeth and slide out of the seat and slowly made my way into the house. My son had put the vibrator pad in the chair for me and as I lowered myself into the chair he put an ice pack on my neck.

I must have looked real nice...my right arm curled up close to my body, my head bent unable to move.

I tried calling Troy. He was in Cleveland. We talked about it...he had someone that he had to see this morning but he COULD rearrange things. Then I remembered...pain pills! I still had some from my throat operation last year! I had to tell him that I didn't take them all...like he thought I had...like he told me to do and stood over me most of the time to make sure I had. He missed!

So, I was able to move enuff to find them by this point.

After many long hours of vibrations, ice, pain pills...I still have a stiff neck but the rest of me is working. My chiropractor is closed on Thursdays. figures, huh?

Today my mom is having her cancer surgery. I can only pray they can get it all! She was all nerved up and talked non-stop for 3 hours last night...and I had to convince her that I was fine! Imagine that!

THEN, not that I am having a difficult enough time with my anxiety and everything else around here...Troy calls me back later to tell me that he is buying a new futton for the downstairs cuz his nephew Tommy is coming to stay.