My kids got me hooked on some of their music!

This is one I have loved for many years...it is a good 'life' reminder:

Tulips in the spring...my flower gardens through the summer and fall

Sunshine draped in light feathery clouds

A strawberry twizzler...to chew on slowly

A rootbeer flavored snow cone

A hike in the woods

The swing on my back porch

Early morning silence...in the corner of my couch

Barefoot in the grass

Digging in the dirt to tend to flowers and veggie plants...bare handed

One of the hamsters' tickling my cheek with its whiskers

That first cup of strong coffee in the morning...the steam warming my nose

A snug hug (not TOO tight)

When one of my kids tells me that I am 'weird' but a really great mom

My nieces sitting on my lap

Taking the kids to the public docks up by my parents just so they can feed crackers to the ducks and geese

A silly totally unexpected text message from a friend

The Cleveland Cavaliers being number 2 seed and going to the playoffs

Joining in with the silliness at an Indians game and seeing my dad laughing his head off at me! (he never laughs enuff)

You Are 65% Normal

Otherwise known as the normal amount of normal You're like most people most of the time But you've got those quirks that make you endearing You're unique, yes... but not frighteningly so!

AND TO ADD EVEN MORE "FUN"...
President Bush himself is gracing Tippecanoe High School here in Tipp City, Ohio with his presence as I am writing this! The cavalcade got off the highway right by my house (since we live right by the exit ramp). And was I out there to watch? no. I wondered why he chose this little town and our High School but then I remembered that our new high school has a state of the art theater wing built on...it is bigger, better and had better lighting and sound/recording equipment than the Dayton Theater. So, I guess that's why...and the HS kiddies got the day off.

Last night was terrible...but it ended up being such a very good thing. You know, the daddy has always complained that the kids talk to me and tell me way more than they ever have him. He has to rely on me to find out anything about them...what they feel, what they think, what is going on in their heads, hearts and minds.

I told him that I do something that he really needs to do...LISTEN. He only lets them get so many words out and he launches into some long drawn out lecture. He thinks he is 'advising' when it seems more like a lecture and TELLING them what to do. I know...my mom...God love her...did the same to me. She thot that by taking the reins of my life and directing my every move she would make my life better and save me from hurt and mistakes. All she did was make it more difficult for me to be an adult when I moved out on my own. I had to learn things the hard way at 22 that alot of others learned earlier. I don't fault her. She thot she was doing the right thing. She loves me.

Anyway, I told him that I know how difficult it is but sometimes they just want you to listen. If they want your input they will ask. Same as anyone else. And, unless you know that they are headed for a mistake that is going to REALLY cause some major problems or bodily harm...let them find out for themselves. It is not easy watching your kids make mistakes...but that is all part of learning and growing up.

Last night my son and I had a MAJOR heart to heart. I was upset about some aspects of his life that are causing him alot of emotional upheaval and that I haven't been much help. I can do more, and I will try...but in the end...it is his life and it is up to him to take over.

Today, he did something that made me feel REALLY good! He showed me that he really does listen, he values my opinion/my advice, and he values himself. My advice to him last nite was to cut this 'gf' out of his life. She is doing nothing but using him...she hasn't shown him at all that she is concerned about his feelings--only her own. She uses him for a shoulder AND a doormat at the same time. From some of the things he has told me that she has said to him about her last bf, her perception of herself, etc. I told him that she will always treat him as her safety net. She likes attention...everyone's...including his...BUT she will always, ALWAYS end up back with the cheater bf...unless/until she recognizes what she is doing and decides to make a change. He cannot help her. He cannot change her no matter how much he wants to. It is up to her and she treats him like a non-person.

So, this afternoon, after he and I got back from visiting with his HS guidance counselor, he called her and told her to take a hike. He didn't want to put up with her crap anymore...he had to take care of his life and she didn't care about it. Wow! I hope he really meant it.

Another good thing is this...I saw a glimmer of self determination in his eye and demeanor today. I pray that it stays and grows. He is making some plans for his future. We have talked about it...and he just might be getting out of the house this fall to re-enter the land of the living at the Joint Vocational School.

For those of you that have been saying prayers for him/me...please continue. Something good is taking place here.

Becuz of my son's anxiety disorder he has been home schooled (cyber school) for the past 4 years. It isn't that we haven't (and he hasn't) tried to attend public school but his anxiety gets the best of him. We didn't even know what was wrong with him for the first two years. I am sure that it was made even worse by the fact that we moved around a lot. He had to face being the new kid in school too many times. AND being a boy, I think it just made it worse. Trial by fire...over and over. He began to feel like there was something wrong with HIM. Like he was always hated just for breathing. My heart would break for him over and over. The nights I've walked the floor praying and the rivers of tears I've shed in his behalf cannot be measured.

Now there seems to be that problem of being in a 'new' town (we have only been here 3 years this summer) and he doesn't know anyone. He tried attending the high school two years ago. That didn't go too well. I was warned by another mother, before we even attempted it, that this class that TJ is in is the meanest bunch of kids she has ever come across. She has 3 kids...and the class of kids that her other two are in seem to be rather normal...an equal mix of nice and mean. Unfortunately, TJ found out how right this woman was.

His anxiety has turned to a terrible state of depression. Who can blame him? He has no friends, except online. He has no one to hang out with. He meets girls from the cyberschool through the school pages but none of them live close and they are, well, teenage girls and they call him and IM him constantly to complain and cry to him about how icky their lives are. He listens and lets it anxed him up some more...which leads to more depression...I have tried to get him to disengage himself from the girl factor. Learn how to concentrate on his own well being for a while.

I don't know what to do about any of it. I am going to help him find a part-time job (he will be 17 in Sept.). I told him that maybe getting back out in the real world will help some. I just wish I could do something about his lack of friends to hang out with. It's crappy being a teenager and even crappier if you don't have anyone to hang out with.

Sometimes I wish I could fast forward life to a better spot. No, not rewind...lord no.

Say that title 3 times real fast...chucking junk.

I swear I dont' know where it comes from! I think the junk gnomes sneak in every once in a while and leave some more when I'm not looking!

It is getting to be that time of year when we have the community garage sale. Whether you like it or not...I swear half of Ohio decends on our little town for the day. If you dont' want to participate you have two options...stay inside and lock the doors OR leave town the night before and don't come back until after dark.

I plan on participating again this year...we have junk. Lots and lots of junk. Most of it belongs to the kids. You know, all the toys and games that they have outgrown and they just want money instead. My daughter has Barbies and Barbie accessories coming out her wazoo (that is a little known/talked about part of the female anatomy, you know). She hardly EVER touched any of it. She preferred Fashion Pollys. We have tons of that stuff too but she prefers to NOT get rid of any of it...yet. So, I am buying somemore of those big rubbermade storage trunks and putting it all away...until she decides she wants more money. I don't think my son has too much left that he wants to get rid of. A coupld or years ago he went through his vast collection of wrestlers and put out the duplicates and make a good deal of cash off of those.

There's games that the kids don't pay any attention to anymore. I just want to unearth the family room downstairs again. Make room for that new futton and the big, fat lazy butt of a nephew that I am supposed to be expecting. I hope he changes his mind and decides that he doesn't want to live with ME. After all, I will fill out the job applications FOR him and then he will have a lot of bruising on his buttocks that suspiciously bear a resemblance to the shape of me tennis shoes! My son can show him...he has been finding those things showing up on his butt lately too.

I am also awaiting word from my friend Madonna (no, not THE Madonna). She and her husband Kevin have a daughter Nyssa (Kevin had a fondness for Dr. Seuss) that graduated from a HS in Virginia a couple of years ago. Madonna told me that Nyssa was going to school for engineering (VERY bright girl) and I know that Virginia Tech was on her list of possibilities...I also know she had been offered full ride scholarships. I just CAN'T for the life of me remember if she ended up going to V.T. or not. I am waiting to hear back from Madonna. Holding my breath. They say no news is good news and since I haven't gotten a call from her or any other 'phone tree members' then I guess it is good. Right?