I am telling you! I don't know who is going to emerge alive on the other end of this...the teenage years! God Bless ANYONE that can survive it. OI!

It is like pulling a broken down car up hill with a rope...and at least one tire is flat.

My son's whole attitude is...as long as he doesn't have to exert ANY effort then he'll go for it. However, if he has to DO something...then...Nah. (GGGGRRRRRRR!!!) And he has the absolute positively steel reinforced gonads to give me grief when I won't trot his arse off to hang out with Corrine...whom lives about 1 1/2 hours away! I like Corrine. She is a really nice girl. However, I sometimes wonder...never mind. I won't say it. I'm just feeling frustrated this morning.

And my lovely daughter. The one who has NEVER given me problems about anything has entered the female teenager twilight zone. Little Miss THANG one moment...sweet and cuddly the next.

And next school year she will be back in the public middle school with her friends (including boy-crazy-way-before-her-time Candice ). Last weekend I over heard my daughter refer to some guy as "he's hot!" Boys. Male beings. My daughter.

That does it. I'm packing now...let me outta here! Let the animals take over the zoo. Perhaps the daddy can take care of it...since he seems to have all the answers and all.

I know...I know...as tempting as it may be...I am ALWAYS here. *sigh*

This morning I took my morning coffee out on the back porch again. I have to quit sitting out there in my wrap robe...cuz of the traffic over at the carwash on the other side of the trees. Most don't look through the trees at me...or so I assumed! Luckily, this morning I got up and took my shower right away, got dressed, THEN got my coffee and bagel and went out back. I say 'luckily' becuz some guy pulled up on the other side of the trees, picked something up, THEN WAVED AT ME, and got back in his truck and left. Um...I'm not lookin' for a friend!

ANYWHERES (or is the Underwears?) I saw Scrawny Squirrel prancing across the yard and the grackel up on the wire above came swooping down for his morning bully session. Scrawny ducked behind the bush on the corner and the grackel landed in front of it. The dang thing actually leaned down and was peeking underneath to find Scrawny. So, I got up out of my chair and then waved my arms at him and he fled like the real wimp that he is. Scrawny went on with his digging. I was admiring the butterflies that were flitting around my basket of million bells on the table in front of me when I caught a motion out of the corner of my eye...and felt a tickle on the backs of my legs! I carefully looked down and there was Scrawny crawling under me! I just watched him. He nosed around the porch then turned and looked at me as if to say, "Where's my nuts?" I have been leaving piles of mixed nuts at the edge of the porch for him but I hadn't put any out yet this morning. He got bored and pranced away. THEN I noticed the bunny peeking out from under the bush at me.

Okay...you want food too? My daughter had already given the hamsters their turn out there. They nibbled off a few of the flowers then she took them back inside. SO, I went in the house and got some lettuce for the bunny...and gave it a sprig of my million bells, then left a pile of nuts for the squirrel.

It is just SO COOL to sit there and have Scrawny just come walking up there and crawl around me like it's no thang. And the bunny is so cute! I draw the line at feeding the skunk, though. That thing is ungrateful...leaves poo on my front porch.

Next subject...the daddy's oldest nephew called him...from Las Vegas. This 'kid' is 25 years old. He has never held a job for longer than 2 weeks...didn't finish HS...spends his days sleeping and nights drinking and smoking 'stuff'. His mother (The Daddy's sister) saved up some money, bought him a one way plane ticket and sent him out to Las Vegas. He called The Daddy to find out if he could suggest some place for him to stay. A one way ticket to Las Vegas. And I have been told that the brother of this nephew, whom is 2 years younger, will be collected from Georgia by The Daddy, where nephew #2 is staying with The Daddy's oldest brother, and brought and dumped at our house. For how long? I don't know. Yeah, this will happen at the end of June. Like I don't have enough wild life to take care of? I am not trying to sound mean...but, I have a difficult enough time with what is already under my roof already!

Yesterday was a good day. We did a family work day. At the end of the day, when we sat around the table to eat the burgers the daddy did on the grill, we bowed our heads to give thanks, and I added, "And thank you Lord for giving us arms and legs that still work, and the muscles and energy to do what we did today." The kids looked kinda surprised at me...but they both said that they actually felt better at the end of the day, after all that work, than they did when they first woke up. SURPRISE! I was dead tired and my back was complaining at me...but I would do it all over again. In fact, between the rain drops I will be outside this next week starting to dig up my gardens and mix the dirt. There is the trip to the local nursery to get my plants.

I bought myself a new hanging basket the other day...Million Bells. My mother has always had one or two of those by her front patio. But this was a color I had never seen before and it caught my eye (I love shades of orange):



Yesterday was also a day of simple pleasures for my kids. We were feeding the wild life. A baby bunny was hiding between our back porch steps and the bush. The daddy put some celery stalks under the bush for it and it stayed under there for quite a while eating. Eventually it wandered off...only to return and nibble some more.
AND there is this squirrel that I have watched from the back porch swing for the last two years. I have named him Scrawny Squirrel because he is small and, until this summer, had a most pathetic looking tail for a squirrel. He loves to run along the phone wires that run along the backs of the properties. The pole is at the back corner of our lot and he will turn the corner there and do his high wire act along the edge of our yard and across the road. I think he is must making a run for Taco Bell which sits kiddie corner across the road. Yesterday he came up on our porch. I told them he was looking for the nuts he hid behind the badmitten set last Fall. He looked at us through the window as if to say, "Where are my nuts?" So, the daddy took a pile of mixed nuts out and left on the edge of the porch, while Scrawny watched him from underneath our swing. He ate them at some point during the day.

In order to keep everyone on task and make sure things got done that needed to be done, I made the To Do lists for everyone. My daughter whined that her list was longer than her brother's. I told her it was becuz he had to mow the lawn. She could trade! She declined.

At one point I found my son face down on the swing...complaining that he thought he was going to puke. I said, "Oh, now...you won't be puking here!" I handed him a BOOST. "here, drink this then get back out there! Just keep saying to yourself 'this is the last time I have to do this'" I ordered a lawn tractor online but it won't be here until next Thursday. He is looking forward to driving that.

Miraculously, he got up, turned the hose and and sprayed his head, shook his hair out and finished the yard.

I didn't quite finish my list. As usual, mine was longer than all 3 of them put together, and I always give myself too much to do. So, I had to make out lists for next week. I'll get there, eventually.

Okay, I have been making alot of mention about my 'size' lately. My width. My butt looking like two volkswagons passing each other. If you didn't read it here, then you might have read it on my 'CANDY' blog. OR you might have gotten a chuckle from it in the chatroom at one time or another.

Here's the thing...

I had half of my thyroid removed last May. I had some autoimmune disease that caused my body to attack its own thyroid and it had swelled on one side. At first the doctors suspected cancer but they did one of those biopsies and couldn't figure out why after 4 PAINFUL biopsies the swelling kept up yet there was no sign of cancer. In the meantime, I started having a little trouble swallowing and my breathing started to suffer. It was finally decided to open me up and remove it. REALLY? That is when they discovered the real problem. I have to keep an eye on the other half of my thyroid...6 month check ups...in case the disease spread and they didn't know it.

In the last year, since the removal of said 1/2 of thyroid, I have gained a whopping 50 pounds. FIFTY P--O---U--N--D--S!!!! I haven't changed my eating habits. I have lost energy. And in the last 5 months my hormones have been going totally nuts! I will refrain from going into any detail about that...I will spare you. Let's just say, ONE of the downsides of it is lots of long, massive migraines.

I have been to the doctor. He has sent me for many leechings. Always the same..."Everything looks normal." Well, IT'S NOT!! I am not accustomed to being a living Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon!
My back hurts from the weight gain...oh, yeah...wanna talk about needing a breast reduction?

I can't take much more of this. I am gonna give the nincompoop one more chance to 'fix' me before I go postal on him. Just give me the friggin' drugs already! I don't like 'em but in this case, I will take them. This is NOT cool!