Did you know that you cannot take a full length of an uncooked spaghetti noodle, bend it and break it into just two pieces? It will always shatter into 3 or more pieces. When you are bored, drunk, high, or have a party and nothing better to do, open a box and try it. What's the point? I'll get to that at the end of my 'share'.

I grew up going to a church down at the end of my block. This is an 'unusual' church. Lucy started a thing about the Amish. Well, I look at the church I grew up in to be two steps removed from the Amish. The Amish women wear long dresses with long sleeves, only blue or black in color, do not cut their hair (wear it in 'buns') and don bonnets. The men also wear long sleeved shirts. In my mind the Menonites are one step removed from that. The attire is more colorful and, instead of bonnets, the women wear what I refer to as 'baskets' on their head. They do believe in modern conveniences such as electricity, and cars and computers. Although, they shun television. With the church I grew up in, the only real difference between them and the Menonites was that the women didn't wear the baskets on their heads. I, on the other hand, always cut my hair, wore jeans, pants, shorts, etc. and we had a TV in our home. I never quite fit in but they included me anyway. I just was never allowed on the platform to sing solos (which, I'm not sure they would have let me, anyway, with my voice). However, they did let me play my instrument in the orchestra and I was allowed to sing in the Christmas program. All depends on their mood, I guess. Fine lines.

Anyway, I went to that church every Sunday from the time I was 3. In my Sunday School class was the cousins/friends Scott, Bill H., Bill R., and Burton. Not too many girls. What I have to share with you involves Burton.

Burton loved writing. His ambition was to be a great journalist. He went to Kent State, where I went, and took journalism. After he got out of college, he landed his first job on a small rural newspaper and met his future wife. They married in a park, barefoot. Unusual for him, but sweet. They had a daughter right away and he landed a job at a newspaper just outside of Chicago. His wife became pregnant with child #2. While she was pregnant, Burton landed an assignment to write an article on birth defects in the area and the incidence of said birth defects. It seems there was a corn processing plant in the area and there had been speculation that it had something to do with the defects. One of the birth defects he researched and wrote about was encephalitis. He had just finished the article and submitted it when his wife went into labor. When their son was born, it turned out he had encephalitis. The doctors gave him 3 months to live. Burton did not accept that and he and everyone that knew him prayed for their son.

Joshua (as they named their son) continued to live. He amazed the doctors by learning to talk, somewhat, and crawl--although he could never stand and walk on his own. The strain of taking care of him took a toll on his wife and their marriage, however. Also, the allergic reactions to the corn processing plant seemed to do something to Burton's personality--it caused a chemical imbalance. His wife packed up the two kids and moved back near her family. He managed to convince her to take him back if he got a job nearby. He did, she did, they bought a home. Burton got better.

Joshua had just had his 12th birthday. Burton was getting ready to leave for work when Joshua cried out to him and lost conciousness. They hurried him to the hospital where they were witness to his passing. A year later, his wife divorced him and married an old high school sweetheart with 3 kids of his own. She took their daughter and moved to Virginia. He never could understand why she would do such a thing. He took it very hard and was bitter.

I am not making excuses for his wife and I can understand why he would feel that way. However, I have observed enough human condition and been in the same type of situation myself to realize that sometimes, when such a strain is thrown into a relationship like that, it can place such a stress on the thin cord connecting two people that it starts to unravel. Sometimes, one of the people in the relationship, or both, feel that by changing scenery (including getting rid of their partner) will make life less stressful, happier, etc.

I met with Burton a few years ago for lunch. We have e-mailed back and forth for years. We have shared our happy times and our agonies. We have always been good friends. I shared my little insight with him only because I could see how he still struggled with the 'whys' and the 'what happeneds'. I knew that he wondered if there was something he should have done differently. Sometimes there are really no answers to life's quandaries. I told him that at least God was kind enough to direct him into writing that piece on encephalitis so that when Joshua was born, he knew what to expect and what to do. As for his ex-wife, she just felt a need to change her scenery. It really wasn't him. It was all that had happened. He just happened to be a piece of the scenery. I saw him thinking this over and it was not too long after that talk that they made amends. They are able to converse and he spent some time in Virginia with his daughter and his ex-wife was trying to help him find a job on a newspaper close by.

And then, sometimes you bend spaghetti just to watch it break. There really is no point to any of it.