I feel like I've been run over by a truck...at least, I imagine this might be what it feels like. Or possibly hit by a kid on a big wheel.
You remember those big, obnoxiously noisey things? My brother had one when he was little...rode it up and down the driveway for what SEEMED like hours. LOUD! The only thing good about them was you definitely knew where the kid was and what that kid was up to.
I spent Monday and Tuesday in tears, trying to get a grip. When I feel like I'm coming unglued and I am not sure I am going to make it BUT I know I have things I need to take care of in a 'sane' way, I retreat...from everyone, everything. It is nothing to worry about. It's just that if I DON'T retreat that ppl should worry about me...that means I have gone beyond the point where I can help myself. I feel like I am having 'problem' overload and need to focus. I knew that I was going to have to get REALLY nasty with some ppl but I needed to do it in a controlled, intelligent way and not come off like some deranged, out of control lunatic.
My son can hate me, but he doesn't. We had some long talks about things and he understands...and knows that I understand. And it ISN'T his anxiety that was making him ill. Although, the illness was making him anxious. Mainly becuz no one was figuring it out or doing anything to really help him.
Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday he was in pain...longer than that...really...especially when the worst of it started weeks ago. Splitting headaches, diarrhea, intermittent vomiting, hot flashes and sweat followed by chills. I took him in to the doctor's Monday...but I wrote about that earlier. Wednesday morning I tried to take him to school but I turned around halfway there. He was just never going to make it...he was never going to make it...he was so sick and I couldn't pretend he wasn't. Once I made the decision to take him back home, I opened my cell phone and hit the speed dial for his doctor's office...they had JUST opened for the day. I told them that I was going to bring TJ in AGAIN and that someone WAS going to figure this out today and DO something to help him...NOW. AND I didn't want to SEE Dr. W.....tis becuz he didn't know anything nor would he admit it. So, I got an appt. with TJ's regular doctor.
He walked in the office and could tell by the look on my face that I wasn't leaving without a REAL diagnosis and some help. He did some exams...and it was all so simple. He actually did some of the same poking and prodding that the other idiot doctor had done...BUT the idiot doctor had already made up his mind TJ had mono so any 'exam' he did was just to make it look like he was trying to figure it out. He also sent me down the road for an abdomine x-ray (which he was able to read on his computer in his office 2 hours later...how cool is that?) just to make double sure he was right.
It turns out TJ's problem is one that my daughter has...only way more severe...and it is something that can be easily rectified (very easily) with a slight change in diet and an additive to a drink once a week (once he is taken care of initially--which means twice daily doses for two weeks) AND apparently it is genetic AND I found out in conversation with my mother, it runs on my side of the family! What it is is Inflammatory Bowel Syndrome. TJ's digestive tract probably had been doing this for years but not so bad that he couldn't ignore it and live with it UNTIL 3 weeks of antibiotics just made it a major problem.
I could have solved it with ice packs and Miralax weeks ago. But now the poor kid is in such bad shape it is going to take at least two weeks to get him in a normal state...but he will be able to function 'normally' by tomorrow. (I know, you are wondering...like I did...how can he have this problem yet he had diarrhea? All that left his body was fluids) The funny, and I do mean funny, part is that when we got back in the van, he looked at me and said with a smirk on his face "well, Mom...you always said I was full of s*it". I just broke out laughing. However, the inflammation in his digestive tract must have been so very painful...and he tried to tell me. But...it just seemed like...well...it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not perfect. I only go by what I've learned from past experiences. Now we know, and I will have to make sure to do the same protocol with him as I do with his sister.
AND I really do believe that everything happens when it does for a reason. While he was out of school, and we're both anxing over if the school is going to kick him out or not...I received copies of last Spring test scores for TJ and his sister in my e-mail from the cyber school. So, I e-mailed copies to their guidance counselors. I do believe those scores are the reason that the JVS has not been breathing down my neck about kicking him out for missing so much (it doesn't matter to them WHY he is out...seriously). TJ scored through the roof on Science and very high on math and social studies. Bethany's score was in science and apparently it was quite good to the ppl at her school also becuz they sent home an invitation for her to join a group called "Girls in Science". It is an after school thing that girls have to be invited to join, and they work on various things with women scientists from various universities. They also encourage the moms to join in. So...guess what I shall be doing with my daughter on various Friday afternoons?
In the meantime, my arrogant azz of a Tech Writing teacher kept me after class for a bit Tuesday to discuss some ethics issues I raised from things in the news. We had already discussed them in class, but he felt a need to discuss them further. He genuinely had acted surprised that my brain worked as well as it did. Up until then he had pretty much been looking at me with this look like, "I can't figure out what she's doing here...stay at home mom...hhmmmm". I just tacked that last bit on there but he seriously had just been giving me weird looks until then. I think I also made him uncomfortable becuz I sit in the front row...center...and when he is sitting and talking with us I look him straight in the eye and I can tell when he looks at me his eyes lock on mine and he REALLY wants to look away, but he turns it into a competition. I win everytime cuz I ALWAYS look ppl straight in the eye. With him it is a power struggle. With me...it is just what I do. I think it burns him up...OR he is thinking I'm flirting with him but...ew. not. Arrogant azz. And I say that becuz that is how he talks to ppl.
ANYWAY, I only have 2 more Wednesday night Labor Relations classes BUT I have a 6 page research paper I have to write in two weeks for it and there is the lovely 100 question final. yippee, skippee...oy.
The other classes I have to put up with until the week before Christmas. Even Mr. Arrogant Azz. And the after class discussion...I finally looked at my watch and told him I had to split...cuz I did...I had some stuff to drop off at the hospital lab for my son. And I really don't want anymore after class discussions. I only sent him the e-mail to get the CLASS discussions going becuz I want the points.
Not cuz I'm really all that interested.
Poor Mister Over-40-divorced-pudgy-thinning-hair-earring-wearing-arrogant-azz.
Somehow you might get the idea that I'm not fond of him.
Let's just put it this way...I can't wait for mid-December to get here.
And now...my lengthy piece of rambling is over...except for one thing...
THANK YOU to all of you that left comments, sent PMs, text messages and e-mails. I really do love you guys for caring and supporting. There's only one thing that would have made me feel better...a good long hug once in awhile...but since computers and phones don't hug...
So, I have to take 'samples' to the hospital lab for them to run tests on. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!!!
If I were a little kid I would have been stomping all through that doctor's office! Throwing hissie fits...Oh my gosh. I have a whole stream of not so nice things that would have LOVED to come spewing out of my mouth. 
I found the shoes I wanted...but not the price I wanted. So...no shoes. BUT JC Pen-A (Penney) was having heavenly sales! So, I got me some fancy duds for...meetings and ...things. 
I'm getting behind. 
