That last post I put up looked really bad. I read it and all I could do was think, "wow...what was going on there?"

Thank you to all that commented to me in the last few days. I appreciate it all.

Some have asked about my tests and TJ.

I handed in one test last night. I hand in another test tonight and do a presentation then that class is over with.

As for TJ, he's still not well...and the doctor's are taking a sssslllloooowwww way around the horn. They may not like it but since he is home today, I took a more aggressive approach and gave him an old fashioned remedy that is supposed to take care of things a little more quickly. The kid needs to be able to eat and not vomit it all back up.

I know I haven't been around and just haven't 'been there' for anyone else. Sorry. I am rather consumed with things here. I know how that sort of thing from someone else (always putting my head into my own problems) can drain others. Everyone has their problems and they need someone to listen and be there for them. I just have so many things not going right at this point that I can't focus beyone my nose right now. And for that I am sorry.

I am trying to fix things and get myself pulled together. It takes time. And I really wish things aren't as they are.

This morning is a very bad day in Bedrock. My son has been projectile vomiting most of the morning...complaining of his insides being on fire. I will be taking him into the doctor's office AGAIN in a few minutes. This may require some hospitalization time...which at this point he is begging for...as long as the tests they choose to run actually help.

That is bad enuff...worrying about what is going on with him...feeling frustrated and helpless. I would be REALLY great if I felt I had some moral support at home. At this point, if I had my own means of financial support, I'd just turn my back on it all. I'm drained, I'm sick of the slings and arrows, I'm sick of the arguing. It's my fault. I've let everything happen. The family is not a family...it is a job. And it is MY job becuz someone else goes off to HIS job and brings home a paycheck. Someone else goes off and plays golf...nothing wrong with playing golf. BUT the kids and their lives/ailments/things that need to be done, the housework, the gardens, the finances, my full-time class load...all mine. My JOB and evidently I am failing miserably.

As long as I keep it all in, as long as I pay attention to others and say what they all want to hear...I'm great. As long as everything LOOKS good, I'm great. Everything is great.

And if I just totally explode like a pumpkin being lit up by a firecracker...I'm sorry about the mess. I'll make sure it is cleaned up.

I have a full day of test taking ahead of me tomorrow (MOnday). Two tests...and one of them promises to be a bear.

I am also looking forward to both kids getting off to school. TJ is rather looking forward to getting back to school and getting to work on the computers.

We had some glitches to work with this weekend. One via the hubby's family members. Ya know, you move to the other side of the state and they STILL get to you.

Tomorrow...we will get up and pick ourselves up and move on. That's what you have to do. Shrug off the things that are trying to undermine you. Stand up tall becuz that's who you are.

Everyone have a good one!