I think I will apply for a job at the Children's Hospital. They have these women with clipboards strategically placed throughout the hallways constantly asking you if you need directions/if you know where you are going, etc. I have gotten to the point that I know what color wall to look for and just how to get from one end to the other and when one of them steps out there and tries to hinder my progress by asking, "do you need directions?" I just about run them over...they jump back as I wave a hand and say, "Nope...I know where it is, thanks."

Of course, there is always a bit of a half-step hesitation when one of them offers the question, "do you know where you are going?" Cuz I feel like just stopping and taking a breath and saying, "Every time I think I know where I am going, fate puts up a road block and I have to find a detour. But if you could offer some definitive directions that will stop that from happening, I'd be glad to listen." I just can't do it to them.

But since I know my way around that place so well now (and I find that sad) I could do that job. I am afraid that on one of my more devilish days I just might give some poor unsuspecting sourpuss some rather rude directions.

I had a talk with the P.A., Teresa, at TJ's doctor's office, today. She said that his electrolytes came back normal. I told her I wasn't surprised. But she said that the girl that made out the lab form 'forgot' to put on there for them to check his liver function. So, when I took TJ to the hospital this evening for his CT scan, we had to go to the other lab and wait there, too, for more blood to be drawn...which always thrills him.

Also, in talking with Teresa, I told her that I thot that TJ's anxiety has become a good portion of his problem again...even though he doesn't realize it. She said that his doctor was thinking the same thing. So, they gave me two choices...we could increase his prozac OR try a relaxor-type Rx for a bit...just to help him get back on track. I told them I didn't think increasing the prozac was necessary...at this point. He just needed to get calmed enuff to get back into school and the routine. Once he accomplished that, he should be fine and they would take him off the relaxor. It is a delicate balance.

I set the appt. with the psychologist for him. A Christian psychologist. TJ is very into Christian ways of doing things...he used to lead the Jr. church service at my parents' church when he was in 3rd grade and for a while thot of becoming a minister one day. So, this psychologist is one he will be more apt to trust. All I know is someone has to be able to get inside his head and help him understand what is going on and how to deal with it.

As for Bethany, she seems to be going along just fine...a wee bit pre-occupied with her weight, but she is a young teenage girl...and her mom has the same mind set about my weight. I just make sure she isn't starving herself and is exercising. I hear the names 'Brad' and 'Nick' an awful lot. 'Brad' seems to stick up for her a lot. 'Nick' just seems to be some guy she jokes with. I used to hear the name 'Reese' ALL the time...then it just quit. I asked her one day why I didn't hear anything about the Peanut Butter Cup boy anymore...she said, "WHAT are you talking about?" "You know...Reese" (with one of those all the way around the eye socket eye rolls)"oh...HIM. We got in an argument...he's a poop head." Nice. Well...so much for that.

Just who is it that decides such things?

I beg to differ with the results...Matt Damon. While he may be somewhat good looking and may have some talent...I hardly think he is THE World's Sexiest Man. For that matter...he isn't even THE World's Sexiest Celebrity. It needs to be qualified with: 'according to a poll of this cross section of ppl'...and 'using these criteria'...'according to these choices'...etc.

I am strange, I know, cuz even given a choice of ALL celebrities, I would be more inclined to be turned on by Jim Belushi more than Matt Damon. He has a more 'regular guy' look about him AND he can make me laugh. Also, he cleans up good. He isn't a guy that rolls out of bed and just looks like he should be on the cover of a fashion magazine right then...or probably EVER.


Okay...this has been a strange thing to write my post about...but it is a break from my life...something different to fixate on.


****speaking of which, TJ didn't get his CT scan the other day...only blood work. Something to do with our insurance company not coming through on an okay and some codes, yada yada. So, he goes today after school...not that school itself seems to make a difference. He hasn't been there. Not sure he ever will again. I am making another attempt at it today. As long as he isn't vomiting, I guess I can drag him there.

I also made the appt. with the psychologist. I can't get into the 'recesses' of his mind...he needs a professional for that. This particular psychologist promises me that as long as TJ is willing to let him, he CAN and WILL get in there and see what is really doing the damage. It is what I worry about...but even if it is me...as long as it can be dealt with and he would be able to have a life, I can't let 'me' get in the way. It is the way it is. I checked my ego at the door many, many years ago.

***Taking Bethany to school in the morning is always a great place to practice defensive driving. I think for any kid that is dropped off by their parent at that school in the morning, there should be extra phys. ed. credit...just for playing 'dodge the cars' alone. These ppl don't realize that the parking lot is not about them and their vehicles! It is, after all, SCHOOL! The kids need to be there, they need to get across the lot SAFELY and into the school...they shouldn't have to watch out for you and that massive, no-reason-on-earth-to-own-and-drive-that-oversized-paperweight-gas-wasting Hummer!!! Speed limit...1 mph through the lot unless there is a kid trying to make it to the sidewalk...then the speed limit is STOP!

This has been THE day! O...MY...

It was good that Troy was home today.

I ended up making a run to TJ's school to leave off the work he finished. And I did as I was told and left a request in the office for his work from his Legal Systems class and his science class. I had sent an e-mail to the L.S. teacher LAST WEEK and she said she would have his work ready for today.

Back home...do some classwork of my own. Then take TJ off to the doctor's. Troy had to get Bethany from school. TJ got LOTS of attention at the doctor's office. And it turns out that tomorrow morning I have to take him into the Children's Hospital for CT head scan and more blood work...mainly checking to see what is causing which problem...is the vomiting causing the sinus problems (back wash...ew) OR is the sinus problems causing the vomiting? And the blood work is to check electrolytes, liver function, etc. I was impressed with how thoroughly TJ's doctor had read his files and KNEW every test and misdiagnosis he had been given at the Cleveland Clinic not too many years ago...when his problems had all started.

In the meantime, his doctor also pulled out the big guns...and prescribed some stuff that usually is given to chemo patients for nausea.

I took TJ back home, stopped at the drug store, went back up to his school (which is two towns north of us) to get his work...his teachers did NOT leave it in the office...nada, nuttin' ...picked up dinner at KFC (chicken pot pie Mondays!!!)...stopped at the grocery store for more gatorade, vegetable juice and yogurt. Home for dinner...take Bethany for GS meeting...BUT...wait for it...as we are going out the door she tells me that she has a project due for science...a model of a chlorine atom...made with recycled stuff...not allowed to go to the store to buy anything...AND (are you still waiting?) it is DUE in the morning!

I get home...get on the puter to find out how many protons, neutrons, electrons...yada yada...if any of you remember from last year when TJ had online school and chemistry...I HATE chemistry. However...I DID learn about electron levels... While looking up the configuration...I saw some idears for how other kids made their models. So...I headed downstairs to my school project box (every parent needs one...clay, cotton balls, pipe cleaners, buttons, left over materials, feathers, pine cones, glue,craft paint, paint brushes, foam squares and, of course, popsicle sticks) and found the pipe cleaners of various colors. We had bubble wrap. I got an old wire hanger. Two different colors of permanent markers. Foil. I laid it out on the table, gave Bethany instructions, and I helped. Within the hour the thing was done, including her fact sheet.


We colored the bubbles on the bubble wrap two different colors (orange for protons, purple for neutrons) then formed it into a 3D sort of atom 'blob'. The three different colors of pipe cleaners represent the different electron levels 'circling' the core of the atom. The silver foil 'blobs' on the pipe cleaner circles are the electrons. The hanger was formed into a base that we could suspend the model from. We used a silver pipe cleaner up through the center of it all, winding it around, to hang it all together. TA DA!

Fold laundry; finish my article summary and post for my online class. Start work on my annotated bibliography for my tech writing project.

Tomorrow morning I have to take TJ off to the hospital for his tests. THEN I get to rush home and try and get some classwork done before I have to take off. Troy will have to do the dinner. Leftovers oughta do it. Or not. He cooks.

Today Troy was busy putting up storm protection on the windows. It feels so much less drafty in here all ready.

Well...back to my class work. I have this week..and just four more weeks. The last week is only finals. Only. I have had the WORST time trying to get my work done! But you know...the end is in sight...I'm almost there...almost there. I think I'll sleep through Christmas.

So...we continue the game of 'Let's Figure Out What's Wrong With TJ'.

He has been very sick all weekend...splitting headache...stomach pains...then he was throwing up all night...head that feels like it is going to bust open...and...a new development...a nose bleed.
He hates the hospital...but he's begging to be put in the hospital if they will find out what's wrong with him...He's sick of pain.

I don't know what to do anymore. I may have to sign him out of school. Study for his GED...then later go on to 'college'. BUT...I have just a little more time. One more thing to try...

***ON ANOTHER SUBJECT...

I finally broke the barrier on my Comp. and Benefits class!!! I scored me an 'A' on my last test!! WOOHOO!!! AND, my professor giveded me praises for my paper on Supervisory Compensation: Getting Creative to Attract Workers AND my posted answers to the reading questions. I must be doin' sumpin right SOMEWHERE!

And so it goes...I have to take TJ back into the doctor office...then pick up some more of his work at school. He has turned in the work they had given him...it is A work...which makes it difficult for a kid to understand why they need to be IN school with a teacher when they can do it all themselves...with a splitting headache and puking. But...thems the rules and the laws.

Later gators...