I had started a blog on another blog site (that I don't really like) at the insistance of my mother. All of the women she knew at her church had daughters that had blog sites and they all shared them. sigh. I really didn't want to do it and I was surprised my mom wanted me to, as she has always been a very private person. But I started it and she shared it with them. I was very careful about what I wrote becuz I certainly wouldn't want my mother to feel embarrassed of what I wrote! (if she ever saw this blog, she would be lecturing me on how silly and simple minded it is). Today, she calls me up and tells me to quit posting anything on that other blog. She didn't want any of 'them' to know ANY of her family's business. again...sigh.
I told her if she changed her mind later, too bad...I quit.

Other than that, the day has been docile. It began snowing this morning and, last I checked, the temp had dropped to 17.6F. The snow keeps coming although not real heavy. It looks worse becuz of the wind. The kids don't have school tomorrow but hubby is supposed to head out for Chicago first thing in the a.m. He was supposed to be there last Wed. and got a call just as he had gone a little past the half-way mark across the state of Indiana and told him to never mind...they decided not to send any flights out to London until after the New Year. I am waiting for them to cancel the whole thing again.

I got a stack of books for Christmas. I love them all! I finished up my John Grisham book and started one of my book presents (On Chesil Beach) AND started this other book that I was lent by a friend. It is written by Neil Peart. I have only made it thru the first couple of chapters but he has some interesting philosophies. One thing I remember is this: his notes on being alone...#1) people want to talk to you. I like to listen.
I feel ya man...that is how I feel. I just want to listen...I don't want to participate in a conversation much...I like to listen to others. I have my moments of wanting someone to talk to. Unfortunately, those moments come when those that would listen and talk with me are not available. My mother knows how to do all the talking and I do all the listening. It tends to get on your nerves after a while. But I don't try to stop her...someday I won't have the opportunity to listen to her anymore.

I have high hopes for this next year. Let's hope that some things in the world get straightened out. Let's hope that the election will bring some good things for this country and others.

On a personal note...I pray that this will be the year my son gets answers to his problem. I pray that I can start moving down a new road. The journey may start out bumpy and not so nice, but I am looking forward to moving down a road of more calming scenery and not so many storms.

God bless us all in 2008.

Yes...I did one of those things. My mother urged me to and *sigh* I listened. I just hit the main points of this last year. I tried to write it as a 'news' piece...not make it sound like I was trying to brag about anything (like what would THAT be?).

I got a few of them in the mail from friends. Ones that I haven't heard from ALL year! One friend it seems finally finished her RN degree she had been working on for so long. Her husband was in the Coast Guard for many, many years and they moved back and forth from one end of the country to another, living in provided housing. But now he is working for them as a private consultant. She has a really good job, their first born has graduated from college and is working in NYC, and they just moved into a house they had built. At first I felt a twinge of...what? Jealousy? A house of their own. I have moved around so many times and things have happened...but...then I thought, "no reason to be jealous! I'm happy their lives have settled and they can have that." My friend spent her life moving from one rental to another with her mom and sisters. Her mom was not the most stable person and just recently died of cancer. This is a wonderful thing for her...for the first time in her life, she has a home of her own and she has the career she has worked for for so long.

Another friend that I visited at least once a year in Cleveland, but I haven't heard from this year...turns out her husband lost his job and she was able to pick up some full-time work at Jacobs Field. She had taught in private schools for years until they adopted a little girl from China. It seems that every since they adopted that little girl, things have happened...and not for the better. One thing after another. But little Kim is their bright spot. Her husband is getting some IT training and found a part-time job.

Another friend who lives on a big ranch in Wyoming had lots of marvelous things to tell about...adventures. Pictures too. Fishing boat excursions and cattle branding, etc. Their children have always been home schooled. Their daughter just graduated from home school and she keeps the books for the ranch. She is also quite good at breaking in horses. Their son 'rents' himself out to other ranchers to fix their broken machinery. He is in about 10th grade. As for the fishing boat...it is one he and his dad built together over the course of two years.

Then there was the letter from my cousin Rick...the one that all of us kids would hide from at the family get-togethers when I was young. He and his wife have jobs that they have to travel out of the country for a lot. 3 kids, private schools, nanny, etc. You get the picture. At least this year the letter was fairly short because even Rick's wife had to admit that there really wasn't anything new and different. Thank God. Somehow, though, I really don't mind the letters too much. Rick was adopted and my aunt (his mom) was/is a head case and a half. How he survived THAT is beyond me. I probably would have been a lot like him growing up if she was my mom. She talked me into coming and spending the night at her house once. I was about 8. I knew even then that it would never happen again!

I am going to write a 2008 letter...before it all happens. Then hide it in a drawer...take it out next December and see how close I got.

I'm back...for good, bad, or otherwise.

Two days...whirlwind visit. The best kind.

I love my family...but...too much negativity. Too many relatives. Just drop the presents...pick up what they so thoughtfully bought...and leave.

Icing on the cake? JUST a few blocks from home I get pulled over by one of the county's finest. It is after midnight, the drive home wiped me out...fighting the wind all the way...I think maybe my tired smile did it for him. It seems my license plates are expired. My son's b-day is the same month as mine...I took care of his driver's license and plates...but forgot mine! The trooper was nice and gave me a warning! He said that if he cited me then it would cost me 4x's as much as it would to get them renewed. So...that was nice of him...should I have given him a kiss?

I'm sorry...too many hours trying to sleep on a most uncomfortable bed and listening to ppl talk at me...non-stop. And I'll tell you...I forgot just how much they ALL can talk.

(remember, if you want to hear the WHOLE song version, you have to click on the 'launch standalone' in the bottom corner)

Okay...had the quiet Christmas at home. Christmas Eve the guys went out and delivered the cookie trays that I made up (I couldn't believe I baked that many cookies! No wonder I was tired!). Hubby woke everyone up at 8:15 a.m. Christmas morning. Well, he attempted to get me out of bed...ice cubes under the sheets. (can we say Christmas Slay, boys and girls? ) I didn't get up. So he pulled out the big guns...sent my daughter in. "Come on Mommy. You don't want to miss it." "take some pictures and show me later." "You can come out and take the pictures. Besides, you have presents to open." "I'll give you 5 bucks to open them for me." "oh...hmmmm...LOL...nope...come on...get up or I'll bring the hamsters in." "oh, lord. I'm getting up." moan, groan (catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror) "ohhhhh, maaaaaan!" more moaning, more groaning...shuffle shuffle.

The day was pretty quiet. BUT, later in the a.m. Troy packs and heads back to Chicago to fly off to London again. The kids and I pack up the van and head for NE Ohio...to see ALL the lovely family members...mine, Troy's...yay. I get to deliver ALL the presents and play nice. Not sure I can pull that last part off.

If we watch intently we may see my youngest sister and her family heading back to Cincinnati. THey are leaving as we are going. My poor mother. Anyhoo...the kids gave me a really good excuse for not staying long...they have plans with their friends for the weekend.
My parents should be about ready for a break anyway. (did I tell you that my youngest sister has had brochitis for over a month cuz she can't take her meds cuz she found out she is pregnant again? #3...but I can't TELL anyone! hee hee!)

Btw...I hope you all got a really good laugh at the slumlord special gingerbread house. That is basically my intentions in showing that mess.

HEY! One of my presents was an MP3 Player. I don't know how to use one. Any super simple short bus special easy instrutchins would be greatly preshiated. My son tries to 'explain' but it is like listening to a rocket scientist explain his job. Come to think of it, I get that same semi-coma feeling come over me when Troy starts explaining to me about some flux capasitor nodule not interfacing with a phlegm unit...yada yada...ad nauseum. He will finally notice the glazed look in my eyes, stop, shake his head, sort of laugh and say, never mind.

yay...road trip...yay...road trip...yay...road trip

Hey, I can TRY and convince myself!

See y'all Saturday night...or Sunday morning.

Myspace Graphics at WishAFriend.com

My Gingerbread House was a wipe out. I was so excited about doing something a little larger and a little different this year. But no matter how badly you want something to turn out, you have to be patient, put the time into it that it needs, and make sure you follow all the steps.

My walls were not thick enough, I did not take the time to trim after baking, I tried to rush the hard candy and it did not thicken, I tried to put the roof on too soon, tried to take a short cut in making the trees (did not use marshmallow, only frosting). The results? The window panes ran, one wall started to fall in, the walls did not fit tight, the leaves started falling off the trees. I finally conceded defeat. If I’d taken more time, too, I would have put a better slant on the roof and my porch roof would have made it on. I need new pastry bags and tips anyway. But I definitely need to start earlier, be more patient and not try to rush to the end. Some things cannot be rushed.


Front of house


Side of house


back of house

In connection…..

We have been rather upset around here lately with my son not being able to make it to his school on a regular basis. And now the day has come where the school administration is wanting to find some other schooling alternative for him. His therapist thinks he should be out of that school for his own good. TJ is sad to leave there but mostly frustrated that his doctor had promised him he would be better and would be able to go…yet it didn’t work. Why not? We were so quick to find him an answer that we didn’t get all the information…he was misdiagnosed and given meds for a condition that really isn’t his problem. Instead of GAD, he has a pretty bad case of OCD…which causes him anxiety. He has done a pretty darn good job of fighting it and hiding it from the outside world…including me. I noticed some things but his doctor assured me that the ‘ticks’ would disappear when his anxiety was under control. The reality is, the anxiety will disappear when the OCD is under control.

TJ sat with me last night while I was doing some cutout sugar cookies. I had 5 different cookie cutters I was using. He began to tell me all the things he had been dealing with and trying to hide from everyone. He did that becuz of shows like “Monk” and movies like “As Good As It Gets”. He said he never wanted anyone to think he was a freak or treat him like one. His dad has OCD. Everything has to be folded just perfectly and in rows in his drawers, in the linen closet…and everything has to be picked up off the livingroom floor at all times and the throw pillows in place. I reminded TJ of that. Then I pointed something out to him…the cookies I was cutting out. I told him that when I did cutouts with different shapes, I HAD to have the exact same number of cookies of each shape or it really made me uncomfortable. If I had dough leftover but knew that I could not get and even number of the cookies cut out of it, I threw the dough away. I have a thing about the number 3…I will buy things in 3’s and pick things up in 3’s. Everything must have a pattern. I need to know about things ahead of time so I can put it on my calendar…leaving things up in the air is stressful for me. I can be spontaneous about some things (like grabbing a lunch and taking a hike that was unplanned) but I need to KNOW when something is going to happen. So, as I pointed out to him, he got a concentrated dose of it. My mother makes lists and is a neat freak. If things are TOO neat it bothers me. TJ and I become attached to inanimate objects…just tonight Troy grabbed an old beat up dutchoven out of my cupboard and told me to throw it away. I just stuck out my bottom lip. TJ told him that I could not do it…I was attached. TJ set the table and the forks were in the wrong place. I HAD to fix them.

We all have a bit of OCD in us. But TJ’s has caused him to be a perfectionist. If he can’t make it perfect, he becomes physically ill.

I am hoping that the new meds his doctor gave him help. If not, we have a new doctor we have been told to give a visit to. Someone that comes highly recommended. In the meantime, TJ will go back to cyber school where he can double time his 11th grade year and get it done with. He said that he is uncomfortable at the school he’s at right now. The teachers have lost patience with him and he doesn’t see how he can catch up on some things. Anxiety and a feeling of failure. It is best not to keep him in that environment.

He will get better. Of that I am now more certain than ever. We are at least turned in the right direction now. But we have to be patient and do this right or…the window panes will run, the walls will implode and the trees will lose their leaves.

He is my son. He is intelligent. He is respectful. He uses his common sense. He is courteous. And he is strong…he will prevail.

We will at least start this year off on the RIGHT foot for a change.

I hope you all have a peaceful and wonderful holiday. Enjoy friends, family, neighbors, yourself. Blessings to all and to all a good night.