Hubby stepped out the front door this morning to have a smoke. He came in the house and insisted I come look out the front window. In front of the front window, amongst the plants is a pile of large rocks. Curled up on one of those rocks was a little chipmunk. And hubby said, "isn't that cute?" He knows I don't want them living amongst my front bushes becuz I want to plant my tulip and iris bulbs and they will EAT THEM. However, I really don't want to poison them for just doing what comes natural. SO...hubby said he is going to get one of those humane traps then take them out to the park...the tree line...and let them go. Okay...when did the alien spaceship come by and suck up my REAL husband and put this look alike guy in his place. wow. The guy I married would have just shoved poison in the hole and let them gurgle their last. This proves it...he has been around me too long.

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I think my son found another winner...GF, I'm talkin' bout. I had to take him to the doctor's office today. He has been sick to his stomach for over a week now and getting worse. As we were pulling out of the parking lot of the Dr's office his cell rang. It was the GF. I heard him tell her, "I'd like to but I can't...I'm sick." (listen, listen) "I can't!" "No, I'm SICK!" (listen) "I want to but I told you I'm sick!" (listen) "thanks for your understanding" (sarcastic tone)(listen)"you could at least be a LITTLE sympathetic!" (listen) "I'm sorry I'm sick" At this point I wanted to grab his phone away and tell the little beotch off! When he hung up I said, "You got anotha winna!" "What?" "you were ACTUALLY apologizing to HER cuz you're sick!" "She stayed home from school sick today too and isn't feeling well so she has a tude." "I don't give a chit! you aren't feeling well either and she didn't apologize to YOU for HER being sick." At this point I just put up my hand and said, "Whateva!" I just don't get it. He is way too much like my brother.

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I keep getting these spam ads that tell me I can lose 50 pounds. I read one outloud while my son was in the computer room. Then I said, "I would try it but I lost 20 pounds once and unfortunately I found it again and it brought 30 pounds that someone else lost along with it." To which my son said, "ha ha". WHAT? Finding weight you were happy to lose is no laughing matter!

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I think tomorrow morning as I drop my daughter off at school I shall tell her to have fun and flick her friends on the end of the nose. I would do that but...I'm too old to get away with it.

That title was the first one I had on my blog when I opened it here on blogstream in Sept. 2005. I know I've told ppl this before, and some of you were here then and remember it.

I heard that phrase on a show once and I don't remember the show but that phrase has ALWAYS stuck with me becuz it has meaning for me.

I sometimes feel like I'm dancing on the edge of the volcano when I am trying to be the organizer and morale booster for everyone. I used to wake up in the morning and be silent and surly until I had my coffee. I didn't want to talk and I didn't want to hear it either. Then my son came along and I found that I had to hit the ground running AND I had to be cheerful to get HIS mood and day running on a high note. I still do that with both of my kids. I wake my daughter with goofiness and send her off with stuff like "have fun today and remember to pet the butterflies!" I wake my son with some sort of nonsense that takes him a while to think about and by the time he figures out there is no meaning, he is awake. I also have to be 'up beat' around the hubby most times or he gets overly concerned that I am contemplating some problem without him.

I also feel like I am dancing on the edge of the volcano while trying to negotiate everyone else's moods and feelings. I am trying to navigate toes so I don't step on them and navigate other ppl's problems...I make excuses for others while I feel that I may not get that same courtesy. The truth is, there are ppl on the blogstream, and in my physical realm (the ones I actually SEE) that have been kind enough to realize I may be having a bad day or over stressed or just not feeling well. And I am grateful to them for turning the other cheek.

I have lessened my dance on the edge by becoming a little more discerning (a word I also think sometimes means 'hard hearted'). I used to give ppl way more chances than they may have deserved...the ones that will smile to your face and tell you one thing while they are using the electric screw driver on other parts of your anatomy. After the last pile of chit that I wallowed through I did A LOT of thinking and soul searching and realized that I had to draw some lines and decide who/what is really important.

I KNOW my family loves me and I have begun to get their support (hasn't always been that way but I didn't help matters either). So...they are important. They are the ones the really matter.

And in order to be all I should be to them, for them...and for myself...I needed to weed out the 'problems'. I had to realize that I am not anyone's savior. And some ppl that I thot I was there for and trying to help...they need to learn that only THEY can truly help themselves. Other ppl have their own sick agendas and live only to leach off others...they feel that all of humanity owes them something. And still others just don't feel any loyalties to anyone and maybe not even themselves. There may be reasons for it and I can figure out most of it/them BUT does that mean that I should hang around and take the abuse and let them suck me dry emotionally? No. I think not. I have to learn to have more respect for myself than that.

And today is one of my not so great days. I knew this day was coming...I have been feeling terrible...worse than terrible...for almost a week now. The last couple of days were the worst. I went to class last night to do the group presentation...praying all the way that I would not yak on someone or something. Turns out, there were two other groups that were not quite ready, and since only Shawn and I had worked on the group presentation we decided to wait until next week (along with the other two groups) and let Elden (our other team member) put forth his magic and do it then. This helped but I had to pray all the way back home that I didn't yak. I have been running on empty and ignoring it becuz I had to keep dancing for everyone and everything and just TRY not to fall in. But when I got home last night, luckily Troy had gotten home a day early...so after sampling the strawberry-rhubarb jam he bought me (he knows I LOVE rhubard) I went face down into bed and slept ALL night. I still feel like hell but not as bad as last night.

So...today...for everyone else...quit dancing on the edge of the volcano today and go pet some butterflies.

I took Ms. Divine to the doctor's after school yesterday for her med check up. I wasn't looking forward to it becuz I knew that once Dr. All-Knowing found out I wasn't giving Ms. Divine the ADHD meds he prescribed he was not going to be happy with me. BUT...I really didn't want to feed her more pills if she could live without them!

First thing he asked is "and why aren't you giving them to her?"

I told him that I found that by working with her on organization techniques and working with her teachers, she was learning how to keep track of things.

He sits there with that pulled down face look...you know...where someone pulls down the corners of their mouth. He is choosing his words carefully.

"I can understand your reasoning for why you don't want her to take the medication but MY concern is that you shouldn't have to teach an 8th grader to be organized."


"yes you do! SOMEONE has to teach kids how to get organized and she hasn't REALLY been taught how to do it! Her teachers even told me that she isn't any different than any of the other 8th graders!" (hey, I was a teacher long enuff to know this!)

He knew I wasn't buying his bully routine. So then he says, "Fair enough. BUT, I am concerned with her distractability level. How easy is it for her to be distracted and is she daydreaming in class too much?"

I only replied to this with a look that you would give someone that is mentally slow. Is this guy REALLY in touch with what it is like to be a teenager? COME ON! Teenagers as a whole are VERY easily distracted in class...mostly becuz they are always bored with the subject matter! They are more interested in if they are having a bad hair day and if they are attractive to the opposite gender! When I was my daughter's age I went off into daydream land on a constant basis becuz I was BORED! Ms. Divine's teachers told me that she seems to be paying attention in class well enough and knows what she is doing.

THEN Dr. All-Knowing tells me that when she comes in to see him in December he wants to see her report card. He can see it but he isn't changing my mind about the ADHD meds unless I feel that she really needs more help than getting organized.

As I have told my kids all along...the meds they take are supposed to make it a little easier for them to work around their problems...not make everything magically disappear. AND if they can find coping skills of their own to work around/thru any ADHD problems without having to take more meds then it is better.

I know Dr. All-Knowing would prefer to fill them full of pharmaceuticals but too bad!

Well...speaking of pharmaceuticals...I need my echinacea and advil to make it through my day. Tonight is the team project presentation and I am still typing out my paper.

Have a good one everybody! AND as I told Ms. Divine when I dropped her off at school...have fun and don't forget to pull some monkey tails!

Before I get on with this...here is a picture of my new niece!


It is early morning and I am not feeling well AT ALL...have you ever been so nauseous that your mind kinda 'imagines' things or it twists things it hears and sees together in a weird design...sort of what I would think going on some hallucinegenic 'trip' would be...in fact, 2 of the 3 times I tried smoking pot, this is the very thing that happened. I wonder if Taco Bell is putting something 'secret' into their refried beans.

I did something very UN-nice yesterday but I am getting kinda tired of sales ppl knocking on my door. This neighborhood seems to get more than its fair share of them! But there was yet another one knocking on my front door yesterday. I opened the door and he looked groomed rather well...considering his 'partner' was in the back of a pick-up truck with a freezer in it and they apparently were selling meat (I kid you not). He started with his schpeil and I just cut him off and said, "I don't want any" and as I'm closing the door he says, "I just thot you'd know someone that wants to save some money..." I said very loudly, "Nope...don't know any of those people." and finished closing the door. I know I should not laugh but...if you read the first paragraph you will understand....maybe.

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Troy wants to build a back porch onto the house. He smokes and won't smoke in the house. Right now he puts the garage door up and steps out there. He complains that he feels like everyone is watching him and that most of the time he ends up having to talk to Derek or Corkey. He said, "I have to wave at ppl and talk to them."
I reminded him that they ARE watching but it CAN come in handy sometimes like if you need an alibi for something, say, a murder....then they can tell the cops that they saw you at home at that time smoking your cigarette in the garage or with the end of the hose shoved into the chipmunk hole trying to drown them.
**again...read the first paragraph of this post**

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The drive to school to drop my daughter off was also interesting. I had the radio on to local radio station, of course, and they were bantering back and forth. The stuff that follows that is in parenthesis is what they were saying on the radio.

(He just put the microphone down and said something to me...do you know what he said? He said,'hey idiot, you're on' I had a headache yesterday and he text messaged me with 'how's your dumb head?' and he called me a 'face head'! )

Ms. Divine...cracking up and looking at me, "What the heck is THAT? FACEhead?"

Me, looking at the SUV speeding up behind me as I get in the turn lane at the light to turn into the school parking lot, "Hey, buddy...you can go as fast as you want but it will not negate the fact that there is a line of cars in front of me that we have to wait for...AND a red light!" I look at Ms. Divine, "I don't know. Isn't that like calling someone a Cheekbutt?"

"A what?" laughing harder.

('now how about the nasty things you have been saying to ME all morning?' "Like what?" 'oh...I don't know, like hating every move I make? Bob can back me up.' "Okay Bob, tell me one thing you heard me say mean to him this morning." 'ummmm...I got nothing.' 'OH COME ON!')

Me:"We have a turn light now, let's all move becuz the front of this guy's SUV is interested in getting into the back of my van."

Ms. Divine: "EW!"

Me:"How about Fingerhand or Toefoot?"

Ms. Divine: "That sounds like Tofu. Is that an insult to call someone Tofu?"

Me: "If you mated an SUV and a van...it wouldn't really look a whole lot different than it does now. What IS the difference?"

('Tell them the text message I sent to you AFTER I asked you about your dumb head! I said seriously, how are you feeling? I did that so you would know I really do care.')

Ms. Divine: "But why would you call someone Facehead?"

Me, as she is exiting the van: "Have a nice day! Swim with the dolphins!"

At that point my daughter froze in mid-door close and gave me this look like I had just called her 'Facehead'.

WHAT? No one is concerned with how MY dumb head is? I think I will just be a Facehead today.

Have a nice day and frolick with the squirrels BUT don't go visit the chipmunks today as I plan on sticking the end of the hose down the chipmunk hole later and turning on the water.