I think back through the last 5 years. It seems so much longer! When I found and started blogging on this Blogstream, it seemed like just what I needed at the time. Life had been so very complicated...so stressful. I had held up fairly well, I thought. I clung to, and still cling to, my Christian upbringing; my faith. However, I let the stress of everything and everyone around me truss me up until I could barely breathe. God helped me but I really needed somewhere to release.
For those of you who have been here with me through most of the last 5 years, you have seen my life go from constant natural disasters (tornados and volcanic eruptions) and just stupid decisions on my part to being more of a gentle breeze with the occassional thunder storm.
My son is coming around, although he still has a long way to go. He has learned to handle things in his world and is no longer using his meds as a crutch. He is able to maintain on a much milder med and a lower dosage. He has learned that he really does physically need something and he is being responsible for taking them everyday on his own. He has become responsible with his school work, and while as of yet he has ventured out to get even a part time job, I am confident that it will happen. He is slowly getting it but I still pray fervently for him every day.
My daughter also has become more confident and learned how to handle her anxieties without meds. Her choice and I support her. She still has her little hiccups...but so do I. She has ambitions and I can see her making great strides in her life. She makes better choices about friends and relationships than I did at her age. She has learned from my experiences...but most importantly, she listens to what I share. She can be very fearless and she is so very impressively logical about things. She has developed an uncanny understanding of ppl and their make-up. She has learned how to shut out the drama and walk away.
As for Sr....he still has 'things' but he has learned to listen to me, too, and, maybe not so much understand, but let it go. He can still throw me a curve ball every now and then but for the most part he has learned to be supportive.
As for me...I have learned to let go of some of my stubbornness and be more supportive of him, too. We are no longer those two streams flowing in opposite directions.
I have found ME again...well, my inner strength. I am still on the journey but I have made sure to carve out time for me to pay attention to me. Deciding to go back and take the grad classes so that I can get my teaching license back was a major step for me. While I still am not handling the whole 'joining in' with groups thing, I am confident that I will get better at it. You have to understand, though, that I never was much of a joiner.
And now that I am back to working on my physical self, to become a leaner, stronger person physically, I grow more confident with myself each day. I feel like I am gaining back some control.
I have 'met' some very nice ppl here on this stream. Some of you I can talk to, and some of you I just keep in touch with on FB. It is not the same as having a blog where you can interact with others but...everything will come to an end.
For those of you that would like to keep track of how my life goes, I have another blog on blogspot that I used to keep updated with my family on...then once they all got on FB I kinda quit writing there. I guess I will start using it again. If you would like the link to it, send me a PM.
For the rest of you that are not on FB and want to keep in touch that way, sign up! Send me a PM if you don't know what my REAL name is and want to find me.
My 'Dancing on the Edge of the Volcano' blog has a lot of stuff on it I guess I am going to download and save. I was reading back through it and did not realize what I had there! There are a few more things on here that I may save.
Thank you John for starting this and maintaining it for as long as you have. You have no idea how it has changed my life and helped me grow as a person. I have laughed so much and learned so very much about others and myself. I have learned what to deal with, how to deal with it, and what to just NOT deal with. AND I have made some new friends that I hope to always have in my life.
You eat your calories YOUR way, I'll eat my calories MY way. The sorbet has no fat and, while I like fruit, it is full of its own kinda carbs and FIBER. Believe me...one should only eat just so much fiber. 
